But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
