o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
