i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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