just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
