lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
