She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
