We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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