Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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