Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
