this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
