ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
