My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
