Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
