Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize