Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
try to milk me bitch
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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