what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
