70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
