i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
