She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
