when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
