theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
