You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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