I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize