I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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