I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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