I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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