Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize