Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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