blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
