i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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