i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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