wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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