Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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