But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
