I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
