well most of my day revolves around power hour
Actions speak louder than pants.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
