1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
