I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
