what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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