i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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