He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
thus making me awesome and them whores
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
