high people should be assigned attendants
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
