So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found puke in my bra..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
