Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
