There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
