Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
