have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
