I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
