i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
