Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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