i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
