i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
