nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize